pierceeff

Maybe we are what we pretend to be.

Month: November, 2013

The guilty one

The worst feeling is when you’re the one to blame. 

If someone else does something you’re angry but still you know it was someone else, not you. 
And while you don’t admit it it’s a huge relief.
You can hate them, say it’s their fault while you’re just the victim of someone else’s stupidity. 

However, when you’re mad you want to to take your anger out on somebody
and how crushing is it when the one who deserves the blame 
is you. 

The more furious you get the more worse it gets. And suddenly you’re in a catch-22 situation.

So what do you do when you’re the guilty one? 

I’m Hungry, We Can Die Tomorrow.

As I look at the crowd in front of me I start to talk: “The world is ending tomorrow and…“ I take a deep breath and try to find the right words.

Suddenly I know what to say, it’s like someone put the words in my mind. “If today was your last day, and tomorrow was too late. Could you say goodbye to yesterday? “
Wait, no…

“Can someone please turn off Nickelback?” 
Right, I knew my mind could not come up with a speech that fast. 

“Dinner’s ready.”, I hear my mother. So this will be the last time I dine?
The thought is scary and I start to feel like I won’t be able to eat anything anyway. 

“Those are your favorite dishes.”, she says looking at me and the rest of my family, here I got to add that we’re no small family at all.

I wonder what my family would have looked like in few years – if we didn’t have to die tomorrow. Would I be married and have my own children? 

My spoiled nephew starts screaming out of nowhere. No, no children.

“Let’s eat? “, someone asks. I take a look at the bountiful table.

 Mashed potatoes for my brother’s baby, meat dishes for the men, salad, because at least on my last day I want to eat healthy and fish, because my mother is sure you’ll get smarter from it. 

“Well, mom, you must have forgotten there’s no need in smart people anymore.” 

“But in the ones who believe though.”

 My dad laughs and I wonder how you can keep cheering when you know your life’s almost over. 

It rings at the door and few moments later a brown-haired girl appears. Nevertheless I smile.  

“Oh…” is all I can say.

“I couldn’t miss the last chance to meet you, could I?”, she asks in a dialect I’m already familiar with through the videos we have sent each other for a long time to keep track of each other’s lives.

She must be the person who actually knows me better than I do, still I just stand there, completely astonished. 

Now I understand why my dad was so happy before. Sure, it’s the last day on earth for us but it’s the first time that I’m together with all my loved ones and truly appreciate it. 

“I’m glad you’re here. “ I tell the girl who’s been one of the most important people in my life, despite living that far away. Then I put my arms around her.

“Group hug!” my little sister shouts. 

On the last day of my life I did everything right for the first time.

 

Inspired by Daily Promt

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